Sweet Sorrow
by jane0904
Summary: Following 'Monty's Place', the crew continues on their merry, but for one at least there is trouble ahead. Includes gunplay and some violence. I won't beg for reviews ... NOW COMPLETE but more stories to come.
1. Chapter 1

Monty and his crew had gone, leaving Mal watching the departing ship with something like happiness running through his veins. It had been a good few days with them, and he felt rested. The fact that he'd also managed to get more time alone with Freya was a big part of it, of course, but he felt ready for most anything that the 'verse could throw at him.

He should have known better, at least if the look on his first-mate's face was anything to go by. She'd come up behind him on the bridge, watching him intently.

"What?" he asked, getting Serenity ready for flight.

"Sir …"

"Zoe, it ain't exactly been often I've seen you lost for words, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't start now." He glanced up at her. "Is there a problem?"

"Sir … I'm … I'm pregnant." She waited for the explosion.

"Really." Mal flipped a switch above him, then two more.

She stared at him, sitting in the pilot's seat. "Sir, did you hear what I said?"

"I heard." He turned to look at her, just the hint of a lift to his lips.

"You know." She could hardly speak.

"That you were pregnant?" He shrugged, the lift getting higher.

"Did Simon tell you?"

Mal shook his head. "Doctor/patient stuff. No. Zoe, it wasn't that difficult to figure out."

"What?" She closed her jaw with an audible sound. "How long?"

"Have I known?" He was smiling now. "A few days. And you shoulda told me before."

She sat down next to him, unable to take her own weight. "Right."

"Why _didn't_ you tell me before?" Mal asked, looking out into the bright sunlight, giving her a moment to compose herself.

"It … this baby … changes things."

"Surely does." He glanced at her. "Were you thinking on leaving me?"

"No." Zoe was surprised. "I can honestly say that never entered my mind."

"Good." He relaxed a little. "Not sure I could take that."

"But … another baby on board …"

He turned his seat to gaze at her. "Zoe, you're my best friend. You've seen the worst of me, helped me when I was at my lowest, stood by me." He grinned. "Guess that's worth something."

"Good." Her brain had almost shut down.

"Zo, I'll support you. I'll even be there holding your hand when the little one's born. Hell, short of marrying you, whatever you want."

"Thank you." She took a deep breath. "But I don't think that'll be necessary. The hand-holding, I mean. Hank is more than ready to shoulder his parental responsibilities."

Mal nodded. "Good. Wouldn't want to have me one of those little 'chats' with my pilot." He paused a moment. "Talking of marriage, he gonna do the honourable thing?"

"We … ah … haven't discussed it."

"Do you want to?" He went on quickly before she could answer. "'Cause I get the feeling you ain't ready."

Zoe stirred uneasily. "That's something I … I was married to Wash. Something I never thought would happen to me. When he died I didn't think I could ever want to find someone else. Then Hank …"

"Yeah. He doesn't exactly go away, does he?"

"No. And I really didn't want him."

"It's annoying how people wear down your resistance."

Zoe nodded, knowing he wasn't only talking about the father of her child. "I'm not ready for another marriage, Mal. Not yet."

He smiled. "You should call me that more often."

"No, sir, I shouldn't."

He grinned and stood up. "Well, as fun as this conversation has been, we've got to get off this mudball. Got us a job on Ibis, so you'd best get your other half up here to do his."

"I think he's throwing up," Zoe said with a smile.

"He got the morning sickness instead?"

"No, sir. Just hungover."

"Well, he needs to get us moving."

"Inara's still at the house."

"Okay. I'll go get her, you excavate Hank from the head, and we'll get back to flyin'."

She nodded. "Yes sir."

--

Inara was in the living room of the house, staring at the decaying curtains.

"Hey, you'd better get a move on, else you'll be stranded."

She turned around, seeing Mal leaning nonchalantly on the door jamb. "I was just thinking what a beautiful place this could be."

"Maybe." He moved into the room. "Need some fair coin spent on it."

"Mmn." She ran her hand over the back of the sofa, feeling fabric dust cling to her fingers.

He watched her. "You know, I still ain't pleased about what happened on Magdalene. What if Hank hadn't been able to win the money?"

She gazed at him and lifted her eyebrow. "Are you blaming me?"

"Well, it sure is someone's fault, and it ain't mine."

"I would think you'd blame Monty, if anyone. Or would that break the Browncoat code of honour?"

"He didn't know Rankin'd be there."

"And neither did I." She brushed her fingers together. "Mal, it ended well. You've got your ship back, undamaged, as you requested, Kaylee will be able to get the new de-oxidiser, Jayne's got more money in his pocket than he knows what to do with at the moment, Zoe's –"

"Pregnant."

She gazed at him. "She told you."

"Officially? Yeah, just now."

"Then why aren't you ranting and raving?"

He looked affronted. "I do not rave."

"I thought you'd at least have a face like thunder."

He shook his head. "You know, for a Companion – sorry, ex-Companion – you sure don't know how to read me."

"Shipboard relationships complicating things?" she reminded him.

"Well, I can't exactly stick to that no longer, can I?" He grinned suddenly, years falling away from him. "Got me a wife and child of my own back there, and believe me, I've done my gorram best these few days to do what the Bible always said, and go forth and multiply."

She held up her hand. "Please. I really don't wish to know the details."

"You're feeling uncomfortable about this?" He was surprised. "Never thought I'd see the day."

"I just don't want you to go into every thrust," she said.

"Wasn't planning to."

"Good." There was a long pause. "So you wanted to get going?"

Mal nodded, shaking the atmosphere from his shoulders. "If Hank's managed to drag himself onto the bridge, we got a job to do."

"Of course." She walked out of the door, and he fell into step next to her. "Although I am surprised anyone needs to work. What with the money left over from Magdalene."

"Hell, woman, I need to." They stepped into the sunlight. "I didn't get a share of that, and no matter what anyone else seems to think, it takes cold hard coin to keep Serenity running."

"I'm sure we could all chip in if –"

He interrupted. "No. No way. That ain't … 'Nara, no matter how I feel about that job going south the way it did, it was you pulled it out of the fire. I wasn't even there."

"And if you had been?" She glanced into his blue eyes, closed a little against the brightness. "What would you have done?"

Mal smiled. "We'll never know now, will we?"

Ten minutes later Serenity lifted off Lazarus and headed off into the black, leaving the house and grounds to the softly buzzing insects.

--

"What did he say?" Hank was staring up at her.

Zoe put her hand on his shoulder. "He's okay with it."

He stood up. "Okay? Just okay?"

She smiled. "He's pleased for us."

"Really? Not just saying that? 'Cause I've been intending to keep away from the airlock, just in case."

She put her hands on his waist. "Pleased. Really."

He grinned at last and pulled her into his arms. "See?" he said triumphantly. "Told you he'd be fine."

"That you did." She closed her eyes, their bodies melding together.

"When are we arriving at Ibis?" Simon asked from the doorway, then saw the pair of them. "Oh, sorry."

They broke apart and Hank grinned at him. "Doc, we're pregnant."

The young man smiled in return. "So I understand. Although I presume you were invoking the royal _we_." He looked at Zoe. "And _we_ need to make up a schedule of visits to the infirmary."

"I'm fine."

"Call me old-fashioned," Simon said, stepping onto the bridge, "but as a doctor I tend to want to keep an eye on pregnant women."

"You got some kind of fetish?" Hank joked.

"Something about the way they seem to bloom," Simon deadpanned. "I find it quite erotic."

"So Kaylee said," Zoe agreed.

"Guess we need to make an announcement, then," the father of her child said.

"That's … probably not necessary," Simon said slowly.

"What?" Hank thought a moment. "Well, I suppose now Mal knows, there's … well, Freya and Inara … and River … but Kaylee and Jayne don't -"

"I think they do." Simon sighed. "Kaylee guessed. I haven't confirmed it yet, of course, but she's been …"

"Nagging?" Zoe supplied.

"Persistent," Simon modified. "It's a small ship. People tend to notice if you throw up a lot."

"So it's just Jayne …" Hank sighed.

"Ah, no. Kaylee was with Jayne when she guessed."

"And she couldn't keep it to herself?"

"Hank, this is Kaylee we're talking about."

Zoe smiled. "Well, that takes the edge off, don't you think?" She squeezed Hank's arm.

"I don't know," he said. "I kinda liked the idea of telling everyone."

She stared at him.

--

Freya was on hands and knees on the floor of their bunk. She was growling. Sitting against the curve of the bulkhead was Ethan, a wide smile on his face, holding out his little fists towards her. She moved across the decking, swaying slightly, and he laughed. As she got to him, she put her face against his belly and worried at it, still growling. He gripped her hair, the laughter now rolling out of him as he wriggled.

She sat up, pulling her son into her lap. "Oh, Ethan, I missed you," she said, holding him tightly to her.

He patted her cheek and gurgled in his incomprehensible language.

She smiled. "I hope that means you missed us too." She put her hands under his arms and held him up so his feet touched the floor. "'Cause your daddy and me, we did."

He gurgled, twisting in her grip, something having caught his eye under the bunk. She put him down and he was immediately crawling towards it. He reached out and picked it up, sitting back and bringing it to his mouth.

"What have you found?" She pulled him out and took it from him. "Oh."

It was a silver cross. One she recognised all too well.

"It must have fallen off the bed," Mal said from the ladder. She hadn't noticed him climb down.

She looked at him. "Your son … sorry, he was tasting it."

Mal smiled, just a little. "That's okay."

"I thought this was still …" She motioned towards the drawer where she'd seen it last.

"I told you I prayed for you," Mal said softly.

"Yes, but …" She held up the cross. "I didn't think you …"

"I don't." He sat down on the floor next to her, picking Ethan up and settling him into the crook of his knee, watching his son as he grabbed for his suspender. "But when Simon said …" He swallowed, then looked up at her. "I thought I was going to lose you. That I was going to have to bury you next to Alice. And if that had happened, it wouldn't have been long before I joined you." His eyes were bright, liquid. "I would have done anything … _anything_ to keep you with me."

"But not because you believe."

"No. Not because of that."

She touched his cheek with her hand, and he moved his face enough so that he could kiss her palm, holding it.

"What did you want to do with it, then?" she asked softly.

"Put it back. You're well now, and …" He took the cross from her. "This ain't me no more."

"Yes it is. Maybe not now, but it was. I think it should go next to mine." She glanced up towards her figurine and incense holder.

"I don't believe, Frey."

"It doesn't matter."

He looked at her and shook his head slightly. "You're a strange woman."

"I hope you mean that in a good way."

"After the last week, I think you know exactly what I mean."

She smiled. "Oh, yes." She moved forward enough so that their thighs were touching, and kissed him softly.

Ethan laughed.

"It ain't funny," Mal murmured, smiling against his wife's lips. "You wait 'til you're old enough to find someone like your mother. And, believe me, that ain't gonna be easy."

--

River arranged, for the fifth time, the bouquet of flowers she'd brought from Lazarus. They would only last a few days, but it was nice to have something fresh on board. She'd brought some seeds and was intending to try and grow them, and if that worked maybe she'd try vegetables, maybe even some strawberries for Kaylee. There was an old storage locker down in the common area that no-one used much, and if she cleared it out, perhaps she could make a garden. Get some lights with her share of the money from Magdalene, some decent soil, get Jethro to help her …

Suddenly she sat down on the floor, the flowers scattering around her. Tears began to roll down her cheeks as she realised she hadn't thought of Jethro for hours, perhaps days. She'd been … happy …


	2. Chapter 2

At dinner the major topic of conversation among those seated was of Zoe's baby. Only River had decided to stay in her room.

"I still don't see why you were scared of telling us," Kaylee said.

"Not scared." Zoe looked around the table. "There was no fear involved."

"Then why didn't you?" The young mechanic shook her head. "We're family, Zoe. You know we'd be there for you."

"But with your … problems …"

Kaylee smiled. "It's okay. Really." She glanced down at her daughter, industriously playing with her food, then up at her husband. "I got everything I want." She went back to Zoe. "So, come on, 'fess up. Why'd you not tell the Cap?"

Zoe didn't get embarrassed. It wasn't in her nature, and with her dark colouring it was difficult to see if she was blushing. But from the way she dropped her head a little … "I've always known who I am. Always. Only now, this baby … well, it changes that."

"No it don't." Kaylee was firm. "Maybe adds something. But you're still Zoe. Course, once it's born your brain turns to mush, but that's inevitable."

"Thanks," Zoe said dryly.

"So, boy or girl?"

Serenity's first mate shrugged. "We don't know."

"I can tell you," Simon said. "If you want."

"Has it ever occurred to anyone how … limiting it is, just having the two sexes?" Hank asked, then realised everyone was looking at him. "Well it is."

"That still gives you three combinations," Inara pointed out.

"Yeah, but only one that can procreate."

"You been reading those books again?" Mal asked good-naturedly.

"And technically it is possible for a same-sex couple to have a child," Simon put in. "It's just a case of taking a cell and removing the –"

"Honey?" Kaylee interrupted. "Not while we're eating."

He was surprised. She wasn't usually squeamish when it came to – then he realised what she was concerned about. Bethany was sitting perfectly still, staring at the food on her plate.

"Of course," he said. Except it was too late.

"Daddy, where do babies come from?" Bethany asked, her clear voice ringing through the galley as she slowly poked her mashed potato with her spoon.

Kaylee looked at her husband and raised her eyebrows. _Now you've done it,_ was the obvious message.

"Come on, doc," Mal said. "That ain't the kinda question you want left unanswered. Particularly with the kind of people around here." He didn't glance at Jayne: he didn't have to.

Simon cleared his throat. "Well, sweetheart, it's …" He swallowed. How did you tell a two year old, even one as bright and precocious as his daughter, about the birds and the bees in a way that wasn't either stupid or disgusting? MedAcad never covered this. He looked up at Kaylee, who shook her head firmly.

"Oh no. If I hear the words _ask your mother_ coming out of your mouth, you won't need to worry about it. _Ever_."

He glanced at Freya.

"No, go ahead, Simon," she said, her lips twitching with the effort not to smile. "I'd be interested in how you put it myself. For future reference."

Simon looked stricken. And Bethany was still gazing at him.

"Well, Bethie, you see …"

"It's when a man and a woman love each other, so the man plants a seed in her belly, and it grows into a baby," Jayne said unexpectedly.

"So that's what happened with Auntie Frey and Uncle Mal?"

"That's it." He nodded sagely.

"So that means Uncle Hank loves Auntie Zoe?" Bethany clarified.

"That's it," Jayne agreed, then realised everyone was staring at him. "What?" he asked. "It's what my Ma told Matty and me. Always figured it was kinda right, too."

Bethany was nodding. "Thank you, Uncle Jayne," she said, and went back to her food.

"You're welcome, short stub." He stood up and stretched hugely. "Now, if'n you're all done talking about sex, I'm goin' to my bunk."

He walked out, and as he went he heard a little voice pipe up, "Daddy, what's sex?"

He grinned.

--

"That man is insufferable," Simon said, managing to keep his temper in check just long enough to put Bethany to bed and see her fall asleep. Now, though, they were back in their quarters.

"Wasn't his fault," Kaylee said soothingly.

"Why do you always stand up for him?" He stood in the centre of the room, his hands on his hips. "What is it about him you find so … endearing?"

"It ain't that." Kaylee pulled her t-shirt off over her head. "I just think, underneath all that … that pretending, he could be a good man."

"Must be deep down."

"Honey, you're just mad 'cause he did something you couldn't."

"But I should be able to!" Simon was frustrated. "She's my daughter. I should be able to explain about babies and sex … and all I end up doing is getting tongue-tied and telling her it's nothing she needs to worry about for the next forty years."

Kaylee hid a smile. "You think she's gonna wait that long?"

"Absolutely. That's one advantage about being on a ship like this. She won't get the opportunity to meet boys."

"What about Ethan?"

"He's not a boy."

"He will be. One day. 'Bout sixteen years from now Frey and the Cap'll be worrying he's out all night and what he's doing."

Simon looked at his wife aghast. "You think Bethany's going to do that too?"

"I think she'll be the one leading the way."

"And it doesn't worry you? The thought of her with … with some boy doesn't keep you awake at night?"

"Course it does. But I ain't gonna let it make me sick 'til it gets closer."

"Is that what I'm doing?"

"You're a good father." Kaylee stepped out of her coveralls. "A good, responsible father. And you're right to worry about her. Only it's gonna be a while yet before she starts bringing home beaus." She stripped off her bra and pants and got into bed. "Now, you gonna stand there all night, or you planning on joining me?" She lifted the sheet up invitingly.

"But why did it have to be Jayne?" Simon was like a dog with a bone, and he wasn't finished yet.

Kaylee sighed and let the sheet drop. "Someone had to say something, honey."

"But Jayne …"

"He's okay. And he's helping River."

"She doesn't need it. Not anymore." He sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled off his boots. "She's better. Anyone can see that."

"Oh, Simon."

"Oh, Simon, what?" He glared at his wife.

"She's hanging on. Sometimes she's good, I'll grant you that. But once in a while I've caught a look on her face … she's still grieving."

He looked guilt-stricken. "Is that why she wasn't at dinner?"

"Probably."

He stood up. "Maybe I should go to see if –"

Kaylee took hold of his hand. "Not tonight. Let her be. Talk to her in the morning. But right now, I think it ain't us she wants to be around."

"Jayne," Simon said bitterly.

"Nope. Not necessarily. I think she just wants to be on her own."

--

Jayne had waited until he heard the other hatches close above the bunks before leaving his and heading for the shower. It wasn't that he minded people knowing he liked to get clean once in a while, but it was something private as far as he was concerned. Now he was standing under the jets, feeling them prickling his skin, and he closed his eyes.

The past few days had been fun, and it was good to rile the young doc, even though he knew it'd prob'ly come and bite him pretty soon, and it was even better to have money in his pocket, but more than anything he wished … he wanted River to be okay. Not because he wanted anything from her. How he felt about her he'd managed to push down, telling himself it was just friendship, nothing more. He almost believed it. But he'd seen her face when they left Lazarus, the darkness coming down behind her eyes again, and it hurt him. More'n he would ever admit.

Sighing he soaped his body, rubbing up a lather on the hairs on his chest, then down between his thighs, rolling the heavy sac in his hand. He sighed again. Usually, round about now, he'd be thinking about one of the whores he'd been with, or fantasising about one he'd be having soon, and he'd be dealing with a raging hard-on. Only there was nothing. Not even a twitch. Maybe he was tired. That must be it. He'd heard tell before of men who couldn't get it up because of stress and the like. Prob'ly that.

He let the water rinse him clean, then turned off the taps. Then, as he opened the stall door, he heard it.

_Jayne!_

It echoed through his mind, crashing against the walls until he could almost see it.

_Jayne!_

Again, filling his brain to bursting.

He grabbed his towel and wrapped it around his waist, ignoring the clothes lying waiting in his haste to get to her. He was down the stairs and through the cargo bay before he even realised what he was doing, then broke into a run.

At her door he paused, then slid it open.

"River?" he asked, peering inside. It was dark, but he could make out something scattered over the floor. "You okay?"

There was moaning from the corner, and he reached around to flick on the light.

River was crunched up, her legs against her chest, her eyes tightly shut. "Hurts," she whispered.

He lowered the intensity, then looked down. Flowers were spread across the deck, wilting almost as he watched. "What is it?" he asked, stepping inside, the scent of the blossoms being crushed under his feet filling the small room.

"I forgot him," she whispered, her thumb jammed into her mouth.

"Forgot him?" He slid the door closed in case anyone wandered by. Didn't want them to get the wrong idea.

"Jethro." She was barely speaking, more the thoughts slipping into his mind. "I forgot him. I was having fun on Lazarus, even on Magdalene, helping everyone, being … being normal. And I forgot him." Tears were rolling down her cheeks.

"You mean you forgot to grieve."

"I loved him!" She was appalled at herself. "How could I forget him?"

Jayne sat on the bed, not going to her, not yet. "Moonbrain, it ain't like you forgot him. You're just … it gets easier, is all."

"How can it?"

"Just does. You get to where you can remember 'em with fondness, with love, and it don't tear you up inside."

"Like you and Charity?"

Jayne nodded, feeling the old stab in his guts that he used to get whenever he thought of the woman who'd meant so much to him. "Like me and Charity."

"But it took you longer."

"I'd known her a while."

"Is it quantifiable? Is there a limit to the amount of time you have to feel like this when set against the number of seconds of the relationship?"

"If you're asking if you shouldn't grieve 'cause you didn't know him that long, then no. That ain't how it works. Some folks can know a person a lifetime, and their grieving is done in a day. Others know a person a day, and grieve a lifetime." It sounded terrible to his ears, but she was nodding.

"It was my fault." She bit her thumb. "If I hadn't told you to bring him on board, he wouldn't be dead."

"You know that for sure?"

"He wouldn't have been on board the Marrakech!"

"No. But there ain't no way of knowing if he wasn't meant to die someplace else. Maybe even that bar. A wrong kick, he coulda just …" He stopped. "Look, much as I didn't like the guy, he was … well, he was okay. Wanted to help. And for a few weeks he had more life than all his years at the Abbey." He let out a bark of laughter. "Hell, if anyone'd asked him, he'd prob'ly not've had it any other way. Maybe he'd've considered it a good bargain. Few weeks with you or a lifetime without."

Suddenly she was standing in front of him, hitting him with her fists. "Stop it!" she was saying, so angry that her voice had all but disappeared. "Stop trying to make me feel better!"

He stood up, letting her beat on his chest, taking the punishment. "River, you can hit me all you want. Only you and I know if you really meant it, I'd be standing here in a pool of my own blood." He grabbed her arms, pulling her against him. "It ain't your fault."

She was rigid for a moment, then all the strength went out of her, and she almost collapsed. "It is."

"No, it ain't." It's mine, he thought, but didn't say. With barely an effort he swung her up into his arms, laying her gently onto the bed. "You need to get some sleep."

"Don't go." She turned her dark eyes on him, imploring him. _Please don't go._

"River, I ain't exactly dressed -"

_Please._

He nodded. "Okay. Just for a while." He lay down next to her, and she rolled against him. "I'll wait 'til you're asleep."

"Thank you." She put her hand on his naked chest, feeling the rise and fall of his breathing, the steady beat of his heart within, and closed her eyes. "I still wish …"

"Yeah." Jayne knew what she was wishing for. "You just get some sleep."

"I'll try."

And he was praying that his body remembered this was just a girl, just a moonbrain that hung around him, making a nuisance of herself, a kid who was young enough to be his daughter, who was just his friend, and nothing more. Nothing more at all.

--

Simon couldn't sleep. He'd woken around two am, according to the chronometer, and now it was gone three, with no sign of dreams overtaking him again. Kaylee was out, her face turned away from him, her hair tangled and mussed. He sighed. Then again, louder this time. She still took no notice.

He lay on his back and stared into the darkness overhead. Damn that man, he thought. Taking his place at his sister's side, seemingly able to coax her along when all he did was make things worse. All he wanted to do was help her. Not just as a doctor, but as her brother. He'd gone through so much, gladly given up the whole of his life to free her, to spend what could be forever out here on the edges of society, just so he could …

Kaylee moved, rolling onto her stomach.

No. Not just that. He'd found a woman out here who made him weak at the knees. Not the woman of his dreams, but far better. Someone who could make him feel good no matter what. The mother of his child. His Kaylee.

But River was his sister. His flesh and blood. And he needed to help her, not hand her over to some hulk of a man who could hardly string three words together, who preferred the company of his guns to real people, who paid to have women perform on him …

He knew he was being mean, but this was his insomnia, and what he thought now was his own business.

And this man, this ape, was the one she preferred to be with.

He sat up, the sheet falling from him.

This was crazy. He was grateful to Jayne. River was improving. But why did it have to be him? Why not Hank? Or … or the captain. Someone who wasn't likely to try and take advantage of his little sister.

The thoughts were colliding inside his brain, and nothing made sense anymore.

He stood up, grabbing his pyjama pants and pulling them on. He wanted to see her. Make sure she was okay. Glancing back at Kaylee, assuring himself she still slept, he slid the door open and stepped out into the corridor.

For once he was glad she was just a few steps away, and not the other side of the ship. All he needed to do was to check that she was okay, then he could go back and lie down, get back to more pleasant dreams. He slid her door aside.

No, not dreams. Not this time. Nightmares.


	3. Chapter 3

Simon stared at the sight of his sister lying next to the great hulking mercenary. She was cuddled up to him, her hand on his chest, her dress rucked up, so he could see her thigh. But that wasn't the worst.

Jayne lying on his back, his body relaxed.

Next to his sister.

Naked.

Simon could hardly breathe. He stepped into the room and punched the mercenary as hard as he could on the jaw, all his body weight behind it.

"Wha …" Jayne sat up, shaking his head.

"How could you?" Simon said quietly, his face white with rage. "Taking advantage of my sister."

Jayne rubbed his jaw. "What the ruttin' hell are you going on about?"

"Get up." The young doctor was vibrating, anger making his heart beat so fast he thought it might burst, if he was thinking at all. "Get up! When I kill you I want you on your feet!"

River had woken up. "Simon?"

Jayne slowly got to his feet. "Ain't nothing happened here, doc."

"Nothing? You stand there like that and say …"

Jayne glanced down at himself, and realised the towel had come off some time during the night. "You think I'd be stupid enough to do something with you just –" Simon punched him again, and he began to see red. "Doc, I'm trying to tell you –" The young man drew back again, but this time Jayne didn't let him complete it. He jabbed out, catching him on the jaw.

Simon staggered back, only stopping himself from falling by grabbing the door jamb. "Get a gun," he said softly. "Go get one of those damned guns of yours."

"Doc, you don't wanna do –"

"Now!" Simon turned and headed back towards his bunk.

"Jayne, what's …" River had sat up, her face a mixture of confusion and alarm.

"You stay here," he said, smiling down at her. "You just … stay here." He stepped outside into the corridor and closed the door, locking it.

"Jayne?" She was up and trying the handle. "Jayne!"

He ran to his bunk, grabbing a pair of pants and his gunbelt, buckling it on as he headed back down. Simon was waiting for him in the cargo bay, his own gun on his hip, Kaylee standing in the doorway to the common area.

"What's going on?" she asked, holding a sheet around herself.

"Go back, Kaylee," Simon ordered.

Kaylee stared between her husband and her friend, and ran for the com.

"Doc, I know what it looked like, but –"

"You took advantage of my sister."

"I keep trying to tell you –"

"Draw."

Jayne stared at him. "You think you really wanna fight me? You think you can outdraw me?"

"Time to try." Simon was so certain, so …

"'Kay." Jayne moved to give himself room, his hand hovering by his gun. "Go ahead."

They gazed at each other, then Jayne saw the barest tightening of Simon's eyes. His hand twitched, and Simon drew.

The sound of a single gunshot filled the cargo bay, at the same moment as Mal and Freya burst onto the top catwalk, and River kicked open her door. She screamed.

"What the hell –" Mal shouted, looking down.

"It's okay, Mal," Jayne said, half turning to look up. "It's …" He slipped to his knees, then fell forward onto his face, not aware enough to put his hands out, his gun still in its holster.

River ran into the bay as the others hurried down the steps.

"He didn't draw," Simon said, staring down at the mercenary. "Why didn't he draw?"

"Nothing happened!" River screamed at him. She went down onto her knees, turning Jayne over. A hole in his chest, pumping blood out. She put her hands over it, trying to stem the flow. "Nothing happened and you shot him!"

"_Mei-mei_, he took advantage of you! You're vulnerable and he … he forced himself on you!"

Mal was down on the deck the other side of River. He checked the big man's pulse in his neck. It was thready, weakening. "Damn it, doctor, get down here."

Simon shook his head. "No. He took –"

"No, he didn't!" River was crying, her hands slipping in his blood.

"River –"

Freya put her hand on his arm. "No, he didn't." He turned to look at her. "Simon, she's telling the truth. Nothing happened."

His face crumpled. "You mean –"

"Help him!" River pulled Jayne's gun from its holster, aiming it at her brother. The click of the safety being thumbed off was very loud. "Save him!"

Simon stared at her, and knew she meant it. "Get out of the way." He took Mal's place, putting his own gun down on the floor. Quickly he checked over the big man. "I need him in the infirmary. Now."

Mal nodded, and he and Hank lifted Jayne between them, carrying him through the common area into the sickbay, placing the unconscious man on the medbed.

Simon fixed the sensors across Jayne's chest, taking a glance at the readings produced. "His blood pressure's too low. I think I must have … the bullet might have clipped an artery."

"Save him," River said, the gun still in her hand.

"River, please put that down." He pulled a pair of latex gloves from the pack. "I work better without someone threatening to shoot me."

"You shot him."

"I …" He looked at her. "I know. Please, _mei-mei_."

Reluctantly she handed the gun to Freya.

"I need help here," Simon said, relaxing just a little.

"What do you need, doc?" Mal asked.

Simon primed a hypo, injecting it against his patient's neck. "Glove up, Mal."

He worked silently, aware of River at his elbow, watching every move. It reminded him of his days at medical school, when the teachers would hang over him, making sure he didn't lose his patient. Of course, if he had back then, they weren't likely to shoot him.

"Doc."

"I see it. Clamp just there."

Mal did as he was told, sealing off the small bleeder.

"I don't get it," Hank said, watching from outside the infirmary. "What possessed Simon to shoot Jayne?"

"He was angry when we went to bed," Kaylee said, staring inside. "About Jayne saying what he did –"

"About babies?" Hank's eyebrows almost disappeared into his hair. "Why would that make him mad?"

"Well, then he went on to how it's Jayne River's been looking to for help. But I thought he'd got over that …" Kaylee wrapped her arms about herself.

"Honey, hadn't you better go look to Bethany and Ethan?" Zoe suggested. "The shot must've woken them up."

"Ethan's in with Bethany. She's fine. She's …"

"Scared?"

"Curious. She asked how Jayne was."

Zoe and Hank exchanged a look. "Had you told her?" the first mate asked.

"No." Kaylee looked even more unhappy. "I'm hoping she heard the voices, worked it out for herself."

"Kaylee, you know what it means if she didn't."

"I don't want her to be psychic," Kaylee whispered. "If they find out …"

"She probably just guessed," Hank said, putting his arm around her shoulder. "And nobody's gonna find out."

Kaylee shivered.

--

Simon closed up.

"Well?" Mal asked.

"I … the bullet did a lot of damage. It caught the hepatic artery, damaged one lobe of his liver …frankly I'm surprised he's still alive."

"Will he stay that way?"

"I think I got it all. He's not out of the woods, but … I think so. Barring complications."

"Good." Mal stripped the blood-stained gloves from his hands and threw them onto the counter. "Now, would you like to tell me what the _tyen shia duh_ is going on here?" His anger, bubbling below the surface, was threatening to overflow.

Simon pressed the dressing into place. "I thought he'd taken advantage of my sister."

"Taken …" Mal stared. "You mean raped?"

"No! But … she's vulnerable. It would only take a few words from a man like that to –"

"You think your sis doesn't know about this kinda thing?"

"Mal, she's a child!"

"No she's not," Freya said from the doorway, the place she'd stood throughout.

Simon turned his agitated gaze on her. "She doesn't understand the way things happen out here in –"

"She's twenty-one."

"And hasn't had the experience to tell when a man wants … that."

"Kinda a moot point, though, don't you think, doc?" Mal put in. "Seeing as, according to Frey, nothing actually happened."

"He was naked! In her bed! What was I supposed to think?"

"That she has bad taste, maybe, but that don't give you the right to go shooting him. You coulda tried asking instead."

"What if it had been your sister, Mal? Or your daughter?" Simon immediately knew he'd gone too far.

Mal stood perfectly still, not even blinking. "You might want to reconsider those words, doctor."

"Mal, I'm sorry. But she's my sister. She's the only family I have."

Kaylee, listening outside, stiffened.

"You know that isn't true." Freya could feel the young mechanic's unhappiness.

Simon glanced guiltily out of the sickbay, but kept to the matter in hand. "I thought he'd used her."

"Much as I might once have agreed Jayne was capable of that, I'd have to say, on recent evidence, he ain't no more." Mal shook his head.

River, who hadn't taken her eyes off the unconscious man, nor shown any sign of hearing the conversation going on behind her, finally spoke. "Jayne loves me."

"He doesn't even understand the concept!" Simon insisted.

She moved to face her brother. "He didn't even draw. You were going to try and kill him, and he didn't even draw."

Simon took a step backwards, away from the sheer rage in her eyes. "I … I know," he stammered.

"Why was that, little albatross?" Mal asked. "Do you know?"

River still gazed into her brother's face. "Because he knew he could kill Simon before he could blink. And if he had, or even hurt him in any way, I would never have forgiven him. So instead I can never forgive you." She stared at him a moment longer, then went back to Jayne's side.

"River …" His voice was beseeching, pleading with her to understand.

"I don't have a brother any more," she whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks.


	4. Chapter 4

She wouldn't talk to him. Wouldn't even look at him. She sat next to Jayne, holding his hand as he lay unconscious, staring into his face.

Simon tried everything. Pleading. Cajoling. Even getting angry with her.

"Damn it, River, you can't just ignore me!" He went to take hold of her arm, but she pulled it away before he could touch her.

Freya called from outside in the common area. "Simon, could you join me for a moment?"

"Can't it wait?"

"No."

Simon stepped out of the infirmary to face the other woman, leaning on her stick. "Are you in pain?" he asked.

"No. But someone else is."

He glanced back over his shoulder at his sister. "I've been trying to help her –"

"Not River."

He looked at her. "Then who?"

"Kaylee." Freya's look was a mixture of sympathy and pity. "She heard, Simon."

He closed his eyes. "I know." There was an ache in his heart, and not just for River.

"You really need to speak to her."

Simon shook his head. "It's not the right time. I should really stay here –"

"There won't be a right time, not for what you have to do. But you still have to do it."

He stared at her then dropped his head. "I've blown it with Kaylee, haven't I?"

"I don't know," Freya admitted. "She's very angry, and upset. You need to go and apologise."

"But I –"

"Simon, just do it. Fall on your sword if you have to. But you don't want to leave this to fester."

"And if she doesn't listen?"

"Oh, I didn't say she'll listen. She won't. It's going to take more than an apology to make things right."

"That's what I'm afraid of. What I said, what I did … shooting Jayne … I can't even get it all straight in my own head, let alone explain it to anyone else."

"You were worried about your sister. Simon, everyone gets that."

"But there's more to it."

"So tell me."

"Everything." He collapsed onto the yellow sofa. "It's just everything. River, Jethro, Jayne … what happened to you … my sterility … it all … Freya, I can't get away from it."

"Do you want to?" She sat down carefully next to him.

"Kaylee worries that I sometimes wish I'd never come out here. Well, it's true. I do. Sometimes. But most of the time I'm just glad someone as wonderful as her even spoke to me."

"Only most of the time?"

He looked up at her, anguish in his pale eyes. "You've lived in the Core. How … how easy it is. Someone else taking responsibility all the time. You abide by their rules, their laws, and everything just ticks along."

"Until they take your sister."

"If they hadn't done that …" He shook his head. "I wake up in the middle of the night and wonder what I'd have been doing."

"More so lately?"

"A little. My mother always wanted me to be on the Medical Elect. I don't really know if it was because she thought I was a good doctor, or because she wanted to be able to tell all her friends. I'm afraid I think it tended to be the latter. But I was saving lives. A trauma surgeon, saving lives every day."

"Simon, you do that here." Freya spoke softly. "You put me back together, and I was really broken. If you hadn't been here, I wouldn't have made it."

"You're my friend."

"And Kaylee's your wife. Simon, you have to get your priorities straight here."

"My priorities?" A flash of anger crossed his face. "_My_ priorities? What about Jayne's? He would have –"

"He didn't," Freya interrupted. "And no, he wouldn't. She asked him to stay, because she was hurting. And he was there for her."

"So am I!"

"I know." Freya sighed. "And you're jealous because she doesn't want you right now."

"Jealous?" His jaw dropped. "You think I'm jealous of that great ape?"

"Oh, yes." She almost laughed. "Big time."

Simon was about to deny it, to protest that he just had her best interests at heart, but he couldn't. "How can I be jealous of Jayne?" he whispered.

Freya pinched the bridge of her nose between two fingers, trying to clear the nagging headache. "You know the answer to that one, Simon."

"I'm afraid I do. I can't be everything she needs." He gazed into the infirmary. "But he isn't good enough for her."

"No, he isn't. And he knows it. That's one of the reasons he hasn't tried to seduce her, even when she was playing with him."

Simon's head whipped round. "You mean she asked him … to …"

"Simon, you know those conclusions you keep jumping too?"

He stared then nodded. "Why does she like him?"

"Because they're alike."

Simon shook his head. "No, no. That I won't … I can't agree with."

"They both have the capacity for extreme violence, Jayne through his own being, and River through what they did to her at the Academy. I understand that violence, Simon. I live with it every day."

"But she's just a child …"

"You keep saying that, yet you know she isn't. And you can't keep her that way." She sighed. "Simon, she was going to sleep with Jethro. That night. When we were on Ariel. They were going to go to dinner, then to a hotel and spend the night together."

Simon's face leeched of all its colour. "No."

"Yes. Your little sister was planning on having sex."

"But she's –"

"You say she's a child once more and I'll shoot you myself." Freya leaned back. "She was quite matter-of-fact about it, as well. Asked me for advice on contraception."

"She …" He couldn't finish. His little sister, his _mei-mei_, wanting to know how to avoid unwanted pregnancies … He swallowed. "But at least Jethro was … well, better than Jayne."

"Not better. Different."

"Now you're just playing with words. And he was Core-bred."

"Don't be a snob. Maybe he was, but he was brought up on Eos, did you know that? One of the Bernadette moons."

"I know. Kaylee told me. Why?"

"Do you know the main occupation of those people who grub out an existence on that moon?"

"No."

"They're smugglers. Or rather, they're a port _for_ smugglers. Most places have half a dozen hidey-holes for contraband. A time-honoured profession there." She gazed at him. "If Jethro hadn't taken it into his mind to become a Shepherd, he'd likely have become a smuggler himself. Or worse. No matter that he talked well or could use the correct knives at the dinner table."

"I don't understand."

"Simon, like you said, _I_ was born in the Core. I was expected to make a good marriage, probably someone from a family we already knew. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if my father hadn't already got someone picked out for me when I upset the apple cart by saying I wanted to be a Companion. Which, as far as he was concerned, was the next best thing, and a quicker way of getting me out from underfoot."

"Surely they didn't –"

Freya shrugged. "I don't know what they thought. Well, I do, but I didn't understand it then." She leaned forward. "They were afraid of me, Simon. Afraid of _me_, their own daughter."

"Aren't you exaggerating just a little?"

"No. But one way or the other, do you think they would ever have thought I could fall for a man like Mal? "

"But love doesn't take any notice of …" His voice trailed off.

"Exactly. Core-bred and a Browncoat, or you and a mechanic … or your sister and a mercenary."

"But this is Jayne we're talking about."

"Yes, it is. And she loves him."

Simon was aghast. "You can't mean that."

"Oh, I do. His feelings for her … well, they're reciprocated. They just haven't told each other yet."

Simon crumpled. "She can't." He shook his head. "I can't let her."

"I'm not sure you have the authority any longer." Freya got up. "And if she chooses Jayne, you're going to have to live with it."

"Frey –"

"Go to your wife, Simon. Go and apologise for your stupid and thoughtless remarks. And hope she forgives you." She went back into the infirmary.

"Why do you speak to him?" River asked, not moving. "He doesn't listen."

"He's gone to apologise to Kaylee."

"It might be too late."

"She'll forgive him in the end. Like you have to."

"I won't."

"Then you'll lose a brother." Freya pulled up another stool and perched carefully. "He didn't mean to –"

River's head snapped up. "I'm an adult. I have to be allowed to make my own choices."

"And if they're the wrong ones?"

"Then that's my responsibility, not his."

"And if he wants to protect you from the pain?"

"He has a family! He should be protecting them!" River pushed her hair behind her ears. "He still sees me as broken, and maybe I am. Maybe I'll never be better than this, with parts of me still missing. But he can't live his life trying to look after me. And I won't live mine that way either!"

"And Jayne?" Freya looked down at the unconscious man, his face softer, gentler in repose. "What he did … it's not just Simon, is it?"

River sighed, a sound drawn from years of damage. "He felt guilty. Thought it was his fault Jethro died. That if he let Simon kill him, he might atone."

"River, it doesn't work like that."

"I know."

"Do you just feel sorry for him?"

"No." She reached out and stroked Jayne's face, feeling the stubble growing on his cheeks. "I love him."

Freya nodded. "Yes. I told Simon that."

The girl turned large dark eyes on her friend. "Oh, Frey, what do I do?"

"What would your Preacher Book have said to do? What would _Jethro_ have said to do?"

River bit her lip. "Forgive." Her voice was a whisper. "So I have to forgive Simon."

"Yes." Freya reached out and took her hand. "And yourself."

"Myself?"

"It wasn't your fault either."

Tears rolled down River's cheeks. "Oh, Frey …"

--

"Kaylee?" Simon stood outside the engine room and peered inside. He could see a pair of legs poking out from under the engine housing.

"I don't have time," the young mechanic said. "I've got me other things to do."

"Kaylee, please." He stepped inside.

"Go back to your sister, Simon. You seem to think she needs you more than we do."

"Please come out. I'd rather not be having a conversation with your feet." There was no sound, no movement from under the engine. "All right," he said at last. "She doesn't want me, Kaylee. Doesn't need me. Please, that's why I'm here –"

There was a squeal of small wheels and the trolley hurtled out. Kaylee sat up, her face white. "So we're second on your list? River ain't needful, so you can spare a little of your precious time for your wife and daughter?" Her tone was scornful, but her eyes were moist, pained. "Well, maybe we don't need you either. Got enough folks on board this boat to look out for us. Don't need you to drag yourself away from your _real_ family to spend time with us."

"Kaylee, I know what I said, and I'm sorry. Really sorry. It's just that –"

She was on her feet, pushing him back towards the door. "It's always 'just_'_! _Just_ this, or _just_ that. I know she's your sister, and I know what you gave up for her! But we're supposed to come first, else why bother with us at all?"

"Kaylee, please –"

"No, Simon!" She thrust him hard, leaving grease stains on his sweater. "I don't want to see you! Go away … just … go away!"

"Kaylee …"

She slammed the door closed, and he heard the finality of the lock inside being thrown.

--

"That man makes me wish I'd followed my first instinct and shot him when he came on board that day on Persephone." Mal stood with his arms crossed, staring out at Ibis growing larger in the window.

"You don't mean that," Hank said, making a slight correction.

"No? Life could have been a lot less interesting without him."

"And you'd be dead, along with half your crew."

"Stop being reasonable when I'm contemplating murder," Mal grumbled.

Hank laughed. "Can't help you there, captain."

Mal muttered under his breath, something that sounded entirely unrepeatable in mixed company, then lowered his arms to hitch his thumbs in his belt. "How long 'til we hit dirt?"

"Thirty minutes."

"You'll have to help load cargo since Jayne's out of commission."

"No problem." The pilot looked up at him. "He gonna be okay?"

Mal shrugged. "Simon's a good doctor."

"Lucky he's a bad shot."

"Actually, I think he's getting better."

"Nah. Now, if it'd been you, Jayne'd be ready to push up daisies."

"And just how would I have explained that to his mother?"

"Does he really have one? I mean, I've seen the occasional letter, and those hats …" Hank shivered.

"Never met her myself, but unless Jayne has a hidden talent we know nothing about, she really does exist."

"He offered to get her to make me one. Asked me what colours I'd like and everything."

"What did you say?"

"That my head doesn't get cold."

Mal smiled. "You shoulda said yes. Some parts of the 'verse, they're probably the height of sartorial elegance."

"Mal, if you ever decide to go there, it'll be with a new pilot."

His captain laughed.

--

Simon felt Serenity land, and sighed. He was alone in the infirmary for the moment, apart from Jayne, who currently showed no signs on wanting to rejoin the land of the living. Not that he minded. At least it was quiet and he could think. He was grateful to Freya for having taken River off to shower and change, so at least he didn't have to put up with her accusing silence.

"Anything you need, Simon?" Zoe asked from the doorway. "Cargo won't be here for an hour or two, so if you want any supplies …"

"I …" He glanced at his cabinets, knowing there was little he could honestly say he was lacking in. Yet … "There's a couple of things I'd like to look for," he said, carefully avoiding her eyes. He busied himself changing the IV bag. "But I think I should go myself. There's a lot of fake drugs out there, and I wouldn't want to be needing something and find it was just water."

"What about your patient?"

"He's stable. And I'm sure you're more than capable of looking after him for the short time I'll be away."

"Me?" Zoe sounded surprised. "I ain't a doctor."

"No, but you know your way around a sickbay." Simon turned to look at her. "And I won't be gone that long."

"Why don't you just write down what you need, and I'll –"

"No!" Simon closed his eyes briefly. "No. That's fine. I'll be an hour, probably less. It's more than likely I won't be able to find what I want, but …" He sighed. "Zoe, I just need to get out of here for a little while."

Serenity's first mate nodded slowly. "Just don't take all your money."

"I won't." He smiled sadly at her, and she noted the deep lines around his eyes that hadn't been there before.

He quickly checked Jayne's condition for one last time and hurried out of the infirmary, towards the cargo bay and freedom.

She watched him go, her hands on her hips, thinking carefully.


	5. Chapter 5

Kaylee was mad. Or maybe it should be, _still_ mad. Every time she thought she'd managed to calm herself down, to talk to herself sensibly, she heard him say that. That River was all he had. And the flames leapt merrily up to consume her again.

How could he say that? What gave him the right to just … toss her aside? And this was the same man who took that damn drug that almost killed him because he wanted to give her the baby she was longing for.

No. That didn't fit. How could he do that if he really felt …

Damn him!

Kaylee threw the wrench against the wall, hearing it clatter loudly to the floor behind her workbench.

"_Ben tian sheng de fei fei de pi yan!_" she shouted.

Why didn't he explain? Why didn't he just tell her why he … and it was no good even considering that she hadn't let him. No good whatsoever. He must think she was _dia ruo mu ji_ if he thought she was going to fall for that one.

"Kaylee?" Mal called from the other end of the galley. "You okay?"

"Shiny, captain," she said, putting a smile on her face. "Just dropped something."

"Long as it's just that. Don't want you breaking up my boat."

"Wouldn't do that," she said brightly.

"Good." He gave her an odd look, then went back to the bridge.

She turned back to the slowly rotating heart of Serenity. "Why'd he say that?" she asked in a whisper. "Why'd he say she's his only family?"

Serenity didn't answer.

That didn't stop Kaylee. "I know," she said wearily. "I should let him explain. But he just makes me so mad."

The gentle motion held her attention.

"And he shot Jayne. He never shoots anyone. He's not like that."

A scuff of rust circled slowly past.

"I need to speak to him." She dropped her rag on the bench and hurried down towards the infirmary. "Where's Simon?" she demanded, seeing only Zoe sitting next to Jayne.

"He went out."

"Out?"

"We've landed."

"I know."

"I think he needed some fresh air."

"Leaving Jayne like …" Kaylee couldn't believe it. "How could he?"

"He needed to get away," Zoe explained gently. "He's probably in a bar as we speak, having a drink."

"He's …" Words failed her.

"Don't worry. I sent Hank to be with him. We don't want him coming back too drunk to be able to work."

"Drunk. Simon."

"He's not too old for it, Kaylee. Or for putting his foot fair and square in his mouth."

"No, not for that." She stared at Jayne for a moment, then turned on her heel and ran out.

"Looks like it's just you and me," Zoe said to the unconscious man. She crossed her arms. "So, what was all that about?"

--

Simon sat at the bar and stared into his drink. It was called beer, only it didn't taste like any he'd ever had before. It wasn't the worst, by any means – that was reserved for the Mudder's Milk in Canton – but it came close. Still, it was having the effect he wanted. He could feel his synapses being slowly dissolved in the alcohol, and as far as he was concerned, that was a good thing.

Someone hit him on the back. "Not a good thing," Hank said, sliding into the chair next to him. "Drinking alone. No-one to carry you home."

"Do I have a home?"

"Woo-ee, I think maybe you've had enough already." Hank grinned at him. "How many?"

"This is my second."

"You never were the best at holding your liquor."

"I do fine," Simon insisted, lifting the mug and draining it. "Barman, another, please."

"Make that two," Hank said quickly. "So, you drowning your sorrows?"

"Trying to." He waited until the barman had placed two more foaming mugs in front of them before adding, "They don't serve sake, so this is it." He took another mouthful.

Hank tasted his and made a face. "This could almost make me wish for a Mal's Cocktail."

"It's not that bad. Nearly, but …"

Hank smiled. "So you care to tell me why you're not taking care of Jayne?"

"I just … needed a little time."

"I can understand that. Sometimes, being so close to everyone, gets me feeling …" He stopped. Only Zoe knew of his problems with enclosed spaces, and he wasn't going to make a joke about it now.

Simon didn't pick up on it. "It's just … I've tried apologising to everyone, but no-one wants to hear."

"They will."

"I mean, I came out to find something for Kaylee, something to try and make amends, but …" He reached into his pocket. "I think she'll just throw it at me." He placed a small box on the wooden counter.

"This is so sudden, but I'm spoken for," Hank joked, then looked into the younger man's face. "Sorry. Can I look?" Simon shrugged and Hank picked up the box, lifting the lid carefully. "Wow."

"She likes the one Mal got for Freya, so I thought why not? I mean, it's not the same, obviously, but …"

Hank lifted the pendant out, letting the sun catch on the carved surfaces. "What is it?"

"It's Odonerite. There's only a couple of places it's mined, so it's pretty rare."

"No, I mean, what is it meant to be."

"A crouching tiger."

"Really? I don't see –" He stopped as the pendant revolved slowly. "Oh. Well, whoever the carver was, he's pretty damned good." He lay it carefully back into the box. "Not cheap, I take it?"

"No." Simon sighed. "Took quite a lot of my share of the Magdalene money."

"Simon, Simon, Simon," Hank said, shaking his head and patting his friend on the back. "As beautiful as this is, I really suggest you don't tell her that."

"What? Why?"

"You really know nothing about women, do you? She'll think you've wasted your money."

"Wasted it? On Kaylee?"

"Exactly. You know what happened over her birthday. She's gonna be mad that you spent so much on her. And we're not even going to get into the fact that she's probably gonna think you're trying to buy her back."

Simon leaned forward and laid his forehead on the bar. "I can't win."

"You're a married man," Hank pointed out. "You're not supposed to."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. So why are you here instead of giving this to Kaylee?"

"I was going straight back …"

"But you got cold feet?"

"Something like that." He sat up and looked at the pilot. "What do you think I should do?"

"Well, if you want to take advice from a once-married man who is currently about to be a father, I'd say, go and get your money back, and buy something a bit more … Kaylee."

"This isn't her?" Simon glanced down at the open box.

"Oh, it's her, all right, but she'll never wear it. Afraid to damage it, or lose it. Better to get her something relatively cheap, but cheerful. Oh, and something for Bethie, too."

"Bethany?"

"Simon, the way to a mother's heart is through her daughter."

"How do you know all this?" the young doctor asked, shaking his head in wonder.

Hank sighed happily. "Just talented, I guess."

"Will you help?"

Hank grinned. "Sure. How far is this place?"

"Just around the corner."

"Then the sooner we get there, the sooner you can make amends with your wife."

Simon slid from his stool. "Let's go. And thanks."

"What for?"

"Helping me."

"Well, I happen to think you're worth it."

"I don't know." He shook his head. "Everyone else thinks I'm stupid."

"You're just having a bad day."

"Bad day?" Simon stared at him. "Bad day? I shot Jayne, alienated my sister, upset my wife … and you say I'm having a bad day?"

"Well, it ain't over yet," Hank said, swilling the last of his beer down his throat.

--

The two men looked down at the body on the cot.

"When?"

"Last night. Found her this morning."

"What was the cause?"

His companion shrugged. "Does it matter?"

"Guess not. Well, we're one short now. And the buyer was very specific."

"Then we find another. She doesn't even have to be too young, long as we make up the numbers."

"Best get going then."

"And this one?" He indicated the pale form.

"Dump her. No-one's going to worry about another dead girl."

--

"What is it with women?" Simon asked, staring into the window of the shop. "I just wanted to keep my sister safe. I got her out of the Academy because of what they were doing to her, and she's been the most important thing in my life for so long …"

"But you've got Kaylee. And little Bethie."

"I know." He shook his head. "I don't know how to deal with this, Hank."

"River doesn't need you any more, Simon."

The young doctor glared at the pilot. "Of course she does."

"No, she doesn't. Not like that. She's so much better, and you have to let her go."

"She's my sister!"

"And she always will be. But you can't dictate what she does for the rest of her life."

"Is that what I'm doing?"

"You tell me."

He sighed heavily. "It's just …"

"You've gotta let her decide. Make her own mind up. All of 'em."

"I guess."

"No guesses." Hank clapped his hand on the young doctor's shoulder. "Come on. Let's get this gift thing sorted and then we'd better be getting back before Mal decides he can fly Serenity all on his lonesome."

--

Mal carried a crate into the cargo bay. "Not that I mind doing some heavy lifting, but where the _diyu_ is my pilot?" he asked, setting it carefully on the floor.

"He's looking after Simon." Zoe ticked off a box on the manifest.

"Simon?" Mal glanced towards the infirmary. "We lost him too?"

"I think he needed a little time alone."

"So you sent Hank to follow him?"

"Not _that_ alone."

"So who's with Jayne?" He held up a hand. "No, forget I asked."

"River's watching him, and Inara's looking after Ethan and Bethany."

"And Freya can't …" Mal rubbed his back. "Well do you think you could give me a hand?"

"Sorry, sir. Not in my condition."

"Right." He headed back outside, shaking his head and muttering.

River lifted her head slowly, her eyes unfocused. Then she leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on Jayne's forehead, and slid off the stool. She moved like a whisper through the common area, behind Zoe, slipping outside without either the first mate or the captain seeing her.

--

Kaylee had looked into half a dozen bars, but there was neither sight nor sound of the errant crew. She's been invited into several, with offers being made for all the free drinks she wanted if she'd just come in and take a seat. She smiled and waved but walked on.

She shivered. She was getting further from the docks, but this area seemed to have less and less people around. No, wait a minute. Up ahead, coming out of a shop. She smiled in relief, quickening her pace.

"D'you see her?"

"I do."

"Anyone around?"

"Nope. Coupla guys just come out of a place further up, but they're too far away to be bothersome."

"She looks okay, just the right type."

"Let's go, then."


	6. Chapter 6

"Risa would never've let me … what is it?"

"Damn," Simon said, turning around.

"You forgotten something?" Hank asked in surprise.

"It's Kaylee."

"What?"

"Up the road. Coming towards us."

Hank looked. "Can't see anyone."

Simon turned, surprised. "She's just up …" There was no-one in the street. "She was just there."

"You starting to see things?"

The young doctor walked forward. "I know it was …" He started to speed up, breaking into a run.

Hank stared, then, feeling the itch of apprehension at the base of his skull, he pounded along after his friend.

Simon got to the corner where he was sure he'd seen Kaylee, and he looked around, panic breeding in his stomach. Hank skidded to a halt beside him. "Doc …"

Simon grabbed his arm. "Listen."

There was the sound of a struggle, something cut off abruptly.

"Shit," Hank breathed.

"Kaylee!" Simon shouted, fear rolling through him.

A noise, almost like a voice trying to cry out, silenced before it could speak.

"Kaylee!"

--

She'd been so intent on getting to them, she hadn't noticed the two men at the mouth to the alleyway. Not until one of them had grabbed her around the waist, the other slamming his hand over her mouth. They hauled her into the darkness.

She was fighting, kicking out with her feet, trying desperately to remember some of the self-defence moves Inara had shown her, and the more brutal methods Jayne had advocated. But she couldn't reach, couldn't catch hold of flesh or hair, her finger nails breaking against rough clothes but unable to grip.

Her foot finally connected, and someone swore violently, loosing his grip on her face, and she opened her mouth to scream. A fist came through the gloom and hit her on the jaw, and she could taste blood on her tongue as suddenly her limbs didn't seem to belong to her, and everything slowed.

_Simon_, she wanted to cry out. _Simon, help me_ …

They began heaving her along, her heels dragging in the dry dust, sending up dead smells that mingled with her fear.

_Simon, help me_ …

Her eyes rolled, catching sight of something pale on the ground, limbs all tangled in a heap. Her breath jammed in her lungs, her heart beating so fast she was sure someone would hear, come to investigate. Help her.

_Simon …_

A doorway, dark and empty, and she knew that if she was taken inside, there would be nothing left of her. She jerked her body, sudden strength ripping their hands from her.

"No," she managed to say, trying to get her feet under her, to run, to do something. A hand hit her again, snapping her head back. The world began to fade.

--

"No!" Simon shouted, running towards the men, his sudden appearance and speed throwing them enough so that he was on them before they could draw the guns on their hips. He punched the one holding Kaylee, elbowing the other in the throat as he caught his wife before she could fall, trying to move her to one side. He felt a blow to his belly, the air whooshing from his lungs, but his adrenalin-fed anger was too great, and he turned on his assailant.

Hank grabbed for the other man, getting his weight under his arm, pushing the gun he'd managed to pull from its holster towards the sky just as the sound of it firing filled the alley. The smell of gunpowder mixed with all the others, then Hank had thrust him against the wall, ignoring the punches he was receiving, just intent on smashing the gun from his fingers. It clattered away, and now he was able to fight back, kneeing the man deeply in the groin before bringing his double clenched fist down onto the back of his neck. The man fell, and without a second thought Hank kicked him in the temple.

Simon was beating with his fists, the sheer fury of his attack having given him the advantage, and his opponent was on the ground.

"Simon."

He was still punching, knowing his knuckles were bloody, both with the other man's and his own.

"Simon. He ain't worth it."

Kaylee put her hand on his shoulder, and he stopped, sagging slightly, only now aware of the mess he'd made of the man's face. He looked up.

"Kaylee?" He stood up, swaying a little, and pulled his wife into his arms. "Oh, Kaylee!"

She leaned against him, weeping quietly. "Simon, I thought they were going to …" She shuddered.

"I'm here," he said, trying to control his heart rate. He glanced down at the two men. "And they're not going to hurt you again."

"Simon …" She buried her face in his chest.

"Take her back to Serenity," Hank said.

"No, we have to – that girl –"

"We don't have to do nothing. Not for these two creeps." Hank shook his head. "And I reckon it's too late for her. You take her back. Tell Mal, get him here." He pushed Simon gently. "Hurry."

Simon nodded, taking Kaylee out into the fresher air, then moving as fast as he could back towards the docks.

Hank watched them leave, then turned back, his stomach threatening to lose all the beer he'd drunk as he looked down at the pale body against the wall. He bent down and touched the girl's neck, but she was cold, her flesh stiff. He shuddered. He glanced up into the open doorway. Something told him he really didn't want to go in there.

--

Mal looked up from the last crate, seeing his medic and his mechanic weaving, somewhat unsteadily, towards him. "Zoe!" he shouted, starting to run.

His first mate was out in a moment, following him.

"What the _diyu_ happened?" he asked as he came up to the pair. He went to put his arm around Kaylee, to support her, but Simon shook his head.

"I've got her," he said. "But Hank needs your help."

"Hank?" Zoe looked beyond them.

"Kaylee was attacked. The two men that did it, Hank's still there. I think he could do with a hand."

"Where?" Mal asked.

"Cornell Street. Near a bar called O'Malley's?"

"We'll find it." He looked into Kaylee's tear-stained face. "You gonna be okay, _xiao mei-mei_?"

She nodded. "Go help Hank."

Mal stroked her cheek, just once, and was off running, Zoe at his heels.

"Come on," Simon said gently, urging Kaylee towards the ship. "Let's get you checked over."

He helped her through the cargo bay and into the infirmary, running an experienced eye over Jayne on the medbed just to make sure nothing had changed in the short time he was gone.

"What happened?" Freya asked, looking in from the common area.

"Kaylee was attacked," Simon said, lifting her carefully onto the counter.

"I'm fine," Kaylee insisted. "Just a bit woozy."

"Lay down," her husband said, putting his hand behind her head so she didn't knock it.

"I'm fine."

"I'm the doctor here. You let me be the judge of that." He glanced towards Freya. "Could you get the swabs from that drawer?"

"Of course." Freya put her stick against the wall and began to collect the items Simon needed.

"Where's River?" Kaylee asked, looking sideways at Jayne. "I thought she'd be here."

"She's around," Freya said, bringing the antiseptic across. "She won't have gone far."

--

Hank waved, and the two figures speeded up, heading towards him. He went back into the alleyway, then paused. Something was different. Something was … missing. Then it hit him. There was no sound. Where two minutes before there had been the strained breathing of two men with teeth missing and possibly ribs broken, now there was nothing.

With unwilling feet he walked towards them, bending down.

"Hank?" Mal shouted.

"In here."

Serenity's captain hurried down the alleyway, his stomach turning as he saw the dead girl, then Hank leaning against the wall by two more bodies on the ground.

He quickly checked the two men. "They're dead," he said softly.

"I know." Hank rubbed his face with his hands.

"You okay?" Zoe asked.

"Oh, shiny." Hank looked at her, despair in his eyes. "Only, see, the thing is, they weren't dead before."

"Weren't …" Mal stood up. "What are you talking about?"

"I checked. Before I came out to show you the way. Unconscious, yes, and pretty sure not to be waking up any time soon, but they were alive."

"Maybe they died of their injuries," Zoe suggested.

"I hope so," Hank said fervently. "'Cause otherwise it would suggest someone else broke their necks."

She stared at him, then glanced down at the bodies.

Mal went back onto his heels, pulling one of the men towards him. His head rolled at an unnatural angle. "Damn."

"Someone from in there?" Zoe asked, nodding towards the open doorway and drawing her gun.

"I don't know," Hank admitted. "I haven't gone inside."

Mal nodded, drawing his pistol, and walked through the door. The smell hit him first, of unwashed bodies and stale urine, and of more terrible bodily odours. The short corridor led into a large room. "_Gou niang jang di_," he muttered.

Fifteen cots in three rows, fourteen occupied by women, sedated into insensibility. Most of them were naked, some had a rough blanket thrown across them. All were young, probably no older than River.

"Slavers?" Zoe whispered, checking the rest of the room with her eyes. No other exit.

"Probably," Mal agreed, feeling sick to his stomach. "Or worse. There's been rumours lately …" He stopped.

"Rumours?" Hank asked.

"Girls being found on different worlds. All dead. All …tortured."

"You're talking about the one they're calling the Monster." Hank shuddered. "I've been reading about him on the Cortex. They say he's rich, buys girls and then –"

"Rumours, Hank," Mal interrupted. "Like I said, just rumours. Don't mean it's the case." He glanced at the girls. "There's lots of other folks willing to pay for some female companionship, willing or otherwise."

"They probably just slavers," Zoe agreed, hating the look on the pilot's face.

"So what do we do?" Hank asked, holding himself to try and stop the trembling in his bones.

"We call the Feds," Mal said firmly. "There's a public Cortex link just down the street. We call, tell 'em where to find these girls, and we leave. It ain't our affair."

"But they're –"

"They'll take care of them," Zoe said. "We can't."

"I know. I just … it could have been Kaylee."

"It could. But it isn't. You and Simon saved her from that." Mal looked around once more. "And we keep this between ourselves, _dong mah_? It ain't gonna do the young doctor any good to realise what might have happened to her. Best let him believe they were just muggers."

Hank nodded slowly. "Okay," he said softly.

"Come on. Time we weren't here."

They hurried out of the room and back into the alley, turning towards the Cortex booth. River slid out of the shadows and hurried the other way, knowing she'd be back at Serenity well before they were. She'd done what she needed to. Saved her family.


	7. Chapter 7

"I think you'll live," Simon pronounced, putting the last weave tenderly on Kaylee's injuries. "I imagine you've got one hell of a headache, but … there's nothing that won't heal."

"Thank you." She smiled shakily at him. "What about you?" She took hold of his hand, looking at the grazes and cuts on his knuckles.

"I'll be fine. Self-medication is a doctor's prerogative." His lips twitched.

"And the rest?" she asked astutely. "You're favourin' your side."

"I'll be okay, Kaylee."

"Long as you are. Can't have my rescuer getting bad on me."

He smiled. "I'll get you a soother, then you need to sleep for a couple of hours."

"I don't think I can."

"Try. Please. For me." He put his hand on her cheek, and was immensely relieved when she didn't pull away.

"I'll try," she agreed.

He turned to the cupboard, seeing River slink into the infirmary. As he measured the correct dose into a hypo, he said, "Where were you?"

His sister shrugged, lifting herself back onto the stool next to Jayne's bed. "I had something to do."

Freya lifted her head and stared at the young woman, her brows drawn together.

"What happened to Kaylee?" River asked, almost off-hand.

"She was attacked." Simon didn't look at his sister, just went back to his wife, administering the soother with a steady hand.

"I hope you dealt with them."

"I did."

"Good." She looked over at Freya, who was still staring, and shook her head, just a little.

"Well, I'm going to get Kaylee back to our room. Are you staying put a while?"

"I'll be here," Freya promised quickly. "River will keep me company. Won't you?"

"Jayne needs me," River said softly.

As he lifted Kaylee down from the counter, Simon took a quick glance at the two women gazing at each other. Something was going on here, he could feel it like a fog in the air, but he was too concerned with his wife to worry about that right now. "I'll be back in a minute," he said as he helped Kaylee out of the door.

"We'll be fine," Freya assured him, waiting only until he was out of earshot before saying, "What did you do, River?"

The girl stared at her, her dark eyes unfathomable. "Stopped them."

"They'd already been stopped. The authorities –"

"Would have done nothing. I merely took it to the next logical step." She turned back to look at Jayne.

"And you think that was the right thing to do?"

"They hurt my family."

"River –"

"Like Wing hurt Mal's. Hurt you. And he killed him for it."

"That's not the same thing!"

"Isn't it?"

"River, you can't just act like some vigilante. Where was that control we've worked so hard for?"

The girl lifted her head, her face dark, vicious. "What's the point of controlling anything? People still get hurt!"

"You think Jayne wants this?" Freya hobbled to the medbed, leaning her hands on it. "You think he wants you to be like this?"

"He's killed! You've killed! Everyone on this boat has had a hand in death!"

"Do you think he'd have wanted you to break their necks while they were unconscious?" Freya spoke quietly. "I can see it, River. In your mind. And there's a part of you that knows it was wrong." She dropped her tone further. "This is just the guilt you're feeling over Jethro taking another form. But you have to fight it. Don't let it consume you. Please."

"But they hurt Kaylee …"

"And Simon dealt with it. Didn't he?"

River nodded slowly. "He looked after her. Like he should." She looked at the other woman. "Oh Frey," she whispered, herself again, the darkness receding from her eyes. "What did I do?"

--

Simon settled Kaylee into the bed, pulling the covers up to her chin. "Do you need anything?" he asked, smoothing her hair from her face, his fingertips gently caressing the rapidly colouring bruises.

"To apologise."

He raised his eyebrows. "I thought that was my province. Apologising. I seem to be doing it a lot."

She shook her head carefully. "I didn't let you explain. 'N' I should have. I know River's your sister. I know what you done for her. That ain't gonna change. 'N' I didn't understand 'bout … what you said."

"I was wrong." Simon dropped his eyes, looking at the wedding ring on his finger. "What I said. I knew it was stupid, and I knew it wasn't true. I can try to explain why but … none of it makes a damn bit of sense."

"You were angry."

"That's no excuse."

"No, it ain't. But it maybe explains a little bit." She pulled herself up to rest on her elbows. "Simon, I know you love me. Otherwise you wouldn't have taken that Hyperbeta-thingie."

"Hyprobetamoxomol."

She smiled slightly. "Yeah, that. And River's my sister too. Maybe not blood, but Bethany shares her genes. Family, Simon. And I should've remembered that."

"Me too." He leaned forward and took her into his arms, holding her gently, aware of the bruises she had been quick to gloss over. "I love you, Kaylee."

"Glad to hear it." She lay back down. "Because I love you too."

"Good."

She yawned. "Maybe I could get some sleep after all."

"I won't be far."

"I know. You gotta talk to River now."

Simon nodded. "If she'll listen."

"She will. She knows what a good man she has for a brother." Her eyes closed. "A real good man."

He watched for a few moments, listening as her breathing evened out and she slept. As he stood up he reached into his pocket and pulled out the pendant he'd bought for her. It was just a polished stone, nothing rare or expensive, just shaped slightly to make a heart. It hung from a leather cord, the fanciest part a silver clasp fastening it together. He laid it carefully on the bedside table, then leaned over and placed a soft kiss on his wife's forehead before quietly leaving the room.

Crossing to the infirmary, he stopped just outside the door, taking a deep breath. Too much had happened today, and on top of everything else, he just felt swamped. He also ached badly, from the blows got in by the man he'd beaten. Nothing broken, but he was going to end up with bruises over quite a bit of his body. That and his fists. He'd never felt like that before, wanting to wound, to physically tear the man apart who'd made his wife hurt. Now he knew how Mal had felt … He released the breath and stepped through.

"Here." River held out a hypo.

He looked at it askance. "What is it?"

"A painkiller."

"Thought it might be poison."

"Not yet." She heard Mal, Zoe and Hank walk through the cargo bay towards them. "You'd better take it. It might the next few minutes more bearable."

"River –"

She sighed and reached up, injecting him gently directly into the carotid artery. He felt it immediately begin to take effect as she continued to speak. "I'm an adult, Simon. A grown woman. Not a child. And I have to be allowed to make my own choices."

"I know that, River –"

"If you can't accept that, then I'll leave."

"What? No, look –"

"If Jayne wants to come with me, that's fine, but even if he doesn't I won't stay somewhere I'm not trusted."

"It isn't that I don't trust you, River," he insisted.

"That ain't gonna happen," Mal said firmly from the doorway. "No-one's leavin'."

River turned dark eyes on him. "Inara is."

His eyebrows raised, and he glanced at Freya, but wasn't going to be distracted. He looked back at the young psychic. "Be that as it may, you ain't going, albatross. This is your home."

"Where would you go?" Simon asked, ignoring Mal.

She turned back to him. "Would it matter?"

"You're my sister!"

"And that gives you the right to decide where I live? Who I love?"

Simon swallowed. "Do you? Love Jayne?"

"Yes." She was trying hard to keep control, looking down at her hands, releasing the tension in her fingers. "I know you don't want me to but –"

This time he interrupted her. "River." She looked at him. "I'm your brother. I want the best for you. I can't see that being Jayne –" He held up his hand, knowing she was about to speak. "But … I can't say I'm happy, River. If I did I'd be lying, but … just don't do anything stupid. Okay?"

River stared. "Are you …"

He shook his head firmly. "I'm not giving permission. I don't like this. I don't think he's good enough for you, and if he hurts you in any way I'll finish what I started. _Dong mah_?"

"_Wo dong_," she agreed softly. "But he won't hurt me."

"Yes, well, we'll see about that." He eased his side. "Now, if you'd like to keep an eye on the patient, I'm going to go and sit with my wife for a while."

River smiled. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me, _mei-mei_. I think this is a crazy idea. And I'm still going to talk you out of it."

"Okay." She reached up and put a kiss on his cheek. "You wouldn't be my brother otherwise."

Simon smiled at her and headed out of the infirmary.

"Well, we need to get us moving," Mal said, looking pointedly at Hank. "You okay to fly?"

Hank nodded. "I ache some, but nothing's broken."

"I'll check him out, sir," Zoe said.

"Just make sure you do that after we've taken off." He saw Freya smile but managed to keep his own face straight. "Well, since I'm the only able-body amongst us, I'll check the cargo's tight, you get us off this hunk of rock."

"On my way, Mal." Hank smiled tiredly and headed towards the bridge, Zoe his shadow.

Mal watched River sit back on her stool next to Jayne, and sighed. Freya moved closer to him. "You're planning on speaking to Inara?"

"Thinking on it." He looked at her. "Did you know?"

"That she was planning on leaving?"

"Mmn."

"Let's just say … I'm not surprised."

"She spoken to you?"

"Not as such."

"Guess I'd better go and get the info from the horse's mouth, then." He shook his head. "Why did I ever want to buy my own boat?" he asked.

"Because you wanted to be captain. And this sort of thing comes with the territory."

He smiled. "Can't you –"

"No."

"Okay. Meet me for coffee after?"

"I'll be there." She leaned across and kissed him gently, giving him all of her considerable strength. "Go on."

"Yes ma'am." He grinned and headed up towards the shuttle, the smile fading from his face as he walked.

Freya turned back to River, who was sitting watching her.

"What?"

"I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"Letting the darkness out."

Freya walked slowly back to her, putting her arms around her. "Just don't let it happen again. River, you don't have to. You can control it. Use it if you need, but not like this. You're better than that."

"I'll try." River sniffed back a sob.

"Hey, what you cryin' for?" Jayne asked, his voice rasping.

"Jayne!" River gazed down at him in astonished delight. "I didn't hear …"

"Too busy talkin'." He tried to clear his throat, but winced in pain. "Damn, but I hate gettin' shot." He looked up at her. "Got any water? I'm parched."

River jumped from her stool. "I'll get some."

Jayne watched as she ran to the sink. "She okay?" he asked Freya quietly.

"I think she just might be."

Jayne smiled.


	8. Chapter 8

Mal climbed the stairs towards the shuttles, and felt Serenity lift off. He wasn't worried they were likely to get tabbed for the deaths of those two men – the Feds weren't going to search too far, not with what they were going to find inside that room. There was a small frisson of anxiety for the women, but he had to believe the Alliance'd look after them. And what he'd said to Hank was right – nothing else they could do to help.

More, though, he wanted to get away in case anyone else had seen them. Rumours it might be, but what he'd read suggested this Monster was all too real, and he didn't want to get involved. That kind of thing could just blow up in their faces.

Outside Inara's door he paused. She left before, more than once, and if River hadn't just been blowing smoke, she was planning to leave again. Even Freya thought so, and he'd begun to trust her returning abilities. Good thing to have in a job like theirs. Might actually stop some of the bad stuff happening.

He took a deep breath and stepped over the sill. "Anyone home?" he called.

Bethany rushed towards him. "Uncle Mal!" she called, jumping, waiting to be picked up. He swung her up onto his hip.

"Hey, there, Bethie. You keeping your Auntie Inara company?"

"We're playing," Bethany said, putting her arms around his neck.

"Playing what?"

"I'm a Comp … Comp …" She couldn't quite remember the word, and bit her lip in consternation.

"Companion?" Mal asked.

She smiled at him. "Companion."

"Is that a good idea?"

"I was showing Bethany how to make tea," Inara said, sitting on her red satin sofa. "That's all."

Mal came further into the shuttle. "Long as you ain't putting ideas into her head."

"I'm not going to encourage anyone to go into that profession. Unless they choose to."

"After what they did?"

"A few, Mal. Only a few."

"You still left."

"My choice."

"Mmn."

Bethany looked into his blue eyes. "Uncle Mal cross?" she asked.

He smiled at her. "Nope, not cross. Just sometimes your Auntie 'Nara and me, we don't see eye to eye."

"Need to be friends."

"You're right, Bethie. This boat ain't big enough to argue." He looked at Inara. "Where's Ethan, by the way?"

She nodded towards the bed and the little boy curled up with his head on the pillow. Coming up to eight months, and he still had the blue eyes and dark hair like his father.

"He looks tuckered out."

"He's been trying to walk."

"Really?" Mal was surprised. "I didn't think …"

"Don't worry. He hasn't managed it yet. You haven't missed out."

"Good." He looked at Bethany. "You want to look after him for a while? I gotta talk to your Auntie 'Nara."

"'Kay." She let him set her down on the bed and snuggled up next to Ethan.

He looked down at them for a moment and smiled, then turned back. "So."

"So." She indicated the seat next to her. "Will you sit?"

He lowered himself gingerly. "Thanks."

"And to what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?"

"Just thought you'd like to know everyone's back on board, and we've taken off."

"I know."

"Good." He tapped his fingers on his knees.

"And?"

"Sorry?"

"Mal, somehow I don't believe that was the only reason you stopped by."

"River said something, and I … well, I guess I thought I should ask you directly."

"And what was that?"

He gazed at her. "That you were planning on leaving."

"Ah." She nodded slowly.

He felt his stomach knot. "That sounds like she was right."

"The Guild have released my accounts, did you know that? I found out a few days ago. It seems that they listened to you. I'm a comparatively wealthy woman."

"That's good. But that don't mean –"

She interrupted, speaking carefully. "Mal, I've been speaking to Monty, and he's agreed to sell me his property on Lazarus."

"Sell … woman, the state that place is in he should be giving it away!" He glanced at the children, then lowered his voice. "I've seen it, remember?"

"There's nothing wrong with it that some hard work won't put right."

He looked her up and down, her fancy clothes, her dark glossy hair … and it occurred to him she was actually no stranger to hard work. Not having lived on Serenity for so long. "That's crazy," he said firmly, as if he were closing the discussion.

"Mal, I've outstayed my welcome."

"Who the hell told you that?" Mal was baffled. "Someone said something to you?"

"No, Mal. I mean I shouldn't have stayed this long. Not with you and Freya."

"That don't make sense, 'Nara. Frey loves you like a sister."

"And I love her. But … Mal, my feelings haven't changed. I still love you."

She saw the shutters drop down behind his eyes, the way they always did when he didn't want to hear. "That's just crazy talk." Again he looked across at Bethany, but she appeared to have fallen asleep.

"Then let's talk crazy." She smiled slightly. "I love you. I think I have from the first moment you showed me around that shuttle, when I said that you wanted me. And I didn't mean just as a Companion to … grease your way a little. I knew how you felt and I did nothing about it. I'm sorry for that."

"Inara –"

"If I had then maybe we'd be together, but somehow I doubt it. I've always known she came between us, even before I met her. That there was something more than just my career and your sensibilities." She sighed. "But it doesn't help. Knowing that. I still love you, and I always will. And I can't take being around you and knowing you will never be mine."

"I can't –"

She put her fingers on his lips. "It's better this way."

"So you're just gonna wander off again?"

"I didn't wander off before, Mal. I went to look for my son." There was a trace of anger in her voice. "_My_ son."

Mal stopped himself, holding his anger back. "'Nara, that place ain't livable."

"I'm a wealthy woman. Certainly wealthy enough to get the house in some sort of order."

"Really." Mal's face hadn't softened. "So you're too good to be travelling with the likes of us no more?"

"That's not it at all, and you know it." She gazed at him, seeing the anger in his eyes, wishing, just once more, that it could be love there. Love for her. She sighed. "Mal, I need this. I should have left a long time ago, when Freya … when you and she found each other again. But I didn't. I don't know what I was waiting for, but I didn't."

"You thought maybe I'd come back to you?" He shook his head, getting to his feet. "I was never yours to come back."

"But you were," Inara insisted, standing up and crossing the short distance to stand close to him, only a breath between them. "You didn't know it, but you were. And I tried to tell you, in so many ways, but you were never listening."

"You left. After Nandi died, I tried to … I tried to tell you. Tell you I didn't want to play no more, and I know damn well you knew what I was about to say. And _you_ walked away from _me_. Told me you were leaving." He shook his head. "How do you think I was gonna take that?"

"You could have stopped me."

"How? How, Inara? Tied you up in one of the cages in the cargo bay? Gone down on my bended knee and begged you not to leave?"

"You could have tried!"

"How?"

She looked into his blue eyes, then closed the gap and kissed him. And it was everything she hoped it would be, everything she'd dreamed of ever since she'd put her lips on his after Saffron had drugged him. But this time he was awake, his hands were on her face, and he was kissing her back. She pressed against him, holding him, running her hands through his hair …

They dropped. His hands _dropped_ and he stepped back.

"Mal …" She reached for him.

"No." He shook his head. "It doesn't work."

"Mal, it does. Otherwise you wouldn't have kissed me like that." She could still taste him on her lips, in her mouth …

"You shouldn't have done it."

"But you let me."

"I guess I had to see. This one last time. See what it felt like. And it felt like nothing."

She was shocked and the thrust went through her heart. "Nothing?"

"It was nice. More than nice. But I … it ain't gonna make me leave Freya, 'Nara. She's my wife. I love her. More than I ever dreamed I could love anyone."

"More than you loved me?"

"Yes," he admitted.

"You did love me?"

"Yes."

"But not enough."

"You know, Inara, it probably was. If you'd not run from me, we could probably have worked it into something special, maybe made it work. But you didn't stay."

"And after Miranda? Why not then?"

Mal sat down on the bare sofa. "Wash died. And Book. I didn't … I couldn't cope with that too. I hoped, yes, damn it, I hoped that we'd find a way round it, come to something, but …"

"Then Freya arrived."

He looked up at her. "I love her, Inara. She's the reason I wake up in the morning."

"Would you ever have said that about me?"

He didn't answer for a moment. "We'll never know," he said, somewhat sadly, despite knowing in his heart that he wouldn't.

"No, we won't." She sat down next to him. "And that's why I have to leave." She patted his hand. "Monty's place is ideal. Now the Guild have released my accounts, I can live in some luxury. There's enough rooms for friends to stay, somewhere Hank can set Serenity once in a while. I can get horses, a boat for the lake …" She looked into his blue eyes, and felt him leave her forever. "It can be my home."

_This is your home_, he wanted to say, feeling her words biting deep, but all he said was, "'Nara, it ain't safe."

"It would be. For me." She smoothed her dress, patting her hair back into place. "I can afford to employ people, Mal. Maybe even do the counselling I've thought about. A few select clients …"

"'Nara …"

"Not whoring. Just talking. Like you did with that doctor on Ariel. Maybe I can help people that way too."

"And us?"

"I'll still be reachable, Mal. Just a wave away."

He shook his head. "I still say it's crazy."

"It's better for everyone."

"Uncle Mal?" Bethany said, rolling over and looking at them. "Can I go back now?"

He turned. "Course, pumpkin." He leaned over and picked her up.

"I'll take Ethan back to your bunk," Inara offered.

"No." He held out his arm. "Could you …"

She nodded and lifted the little boy, placing him in Mal's embrace. Ethan hooked his arms around his father's neck, tangling them with Bethany's, but didn't wake.

"Mal, I need you to understand," Inara said softly.

"Oh, I understand."

"And I need to go back to Lazarus. Not right away, but in a week or two. Monty's arranging the work on the house, but I'd like to supervise as much as I can."

Mal looked at her, his blue eyes hooded. "We can talk about it later," he said, his voice deceptively light, not wanting to upset Bethany. "But not right now."

He carried the children out of the shuttle, and down towards the lower crew quarters.


	9. Chapter 9

"So you didn't manage to kill me, doc," Jayne said softly.

"Seems not." Simon pulled the dressing carefully away from the wound. "But it wasn't for lack of trying."

"Seem to recall something about your sister pointing my gun at you. Just 'fore I blacked out."

"Really." He pressed the skin around the incision, and his patient drew a sharp breath.

"Guess I was dreamin', then," Jayne ground out.

"No."

"She threaten you?"

"She said she'd shoot me if I didn't save your life."

"Well, how about that." Jayne grinned, then grimaced as Simon's fingers hit a particularly tender spot. "One hell of an incentive."

"It shouldn't have happened in the first place. I …" He stopped.

"You trying to apologise?"

"No. But I shouldn't have …" Simon closed his eyes briefly, the image of his sister lying next to this great hulk of a man playing again in his mind.

"Won't hurt her, doc," Jayne said quietly. "Ain't ever gonna do that."

Simon looked at the mercenary. Maybe he was imagining it, but there seemed to be something different about him. Something more … caring. But still … "You may feel like that now, Jayne, but what about next week? Next year? In five years? My sister isn't a toy to be played with then tossed aside. You've always seen women as disposable objects, to be used and then discarded. If that's what you intend with River -"

"Don't know my intentions, doc. All I'm saying is I won't hurt her. She loved Jethro, and she's still grieving after him. I know that. There'll be good days and bad - I'm just gonna see 'em through with her."

"And if it takes forever?"

Jayne lay back. "Well, doc, can't think right now of a better way to spend my life."

Simon stared at him. "Do you love her?"

"I don't use words like that."

"If you did."

"Doc –"

"Humour me."

"Doc, River's special. She's so many things wrapped up in that little body, it'd take a long while to figure 'em all out."

"That wasn't what I asked."

Jayne turned his piercing blue eyes on the young man. "Yeah. I love her. But all the arguments you can come up with, I've already had with myself. I'm too old for her – old enough to be her Pa - I ain't educated, I'm a killer … all of them and a whole ton more. It all adds up to me not being good enough for her. So it's kinda in her court now, doc. I'm here. I love her. Didn't look for it, didn't want it. But if she wants me, then … I'll be doing handstands down in the cargo bay. If not, well, I guess I'll just be her friend."

Simon stared. This was the longest speech he remembered the big man ever making, and the sincerity in his voice was almost embarrassing.

"Okay." He took a deep breath.

"Okay?" Jayne looked perplexed.

"I'm not giving you permission. Not in any way, shape or form to be with my sister. But I accept what you say."

"Good." Jayne wasn't sure, but he felt they'd come to an understanding. "Would you mind finishing up, then?" He nodded towards his chest. "I'm getting kinda chilly."

Simon glared at him, but put a new dressing on the wound, even going so far as to pick up the blanket from the counter and covering the mercenary with it. Not that he could take the almost amused look on Jayne's face, and having done his duty as a doctor, he walked out of the infirmary without even a backward glance.

"I love you," Kaylee said softly from the shadows, stepping forward.

He managed a relieved smile. "Do you?"

"Mmn." She stepped close. "When did you buy this?" She lifted the polished stone heart around her neck.

"Oh, I wanted to put it on you." He put his hands on her shoulders, feeling her hair running over his fingers.

"I hope it didn't cost too much."

"Just the right amount, _bao-bei_."

She moved in a little more, pressing herself against him. "Only I know you. Just as likely to try and make a grand gesture and spend more money'n you needed."

Simon silently thanked Hank's presence of mind. "You've made a changed man of me."

"You saying I've made you cheap?" Any harshness was removed from her words by the smile on her lips.

"Careful," Simon amended.

"Well, okay then." She lifted her face to be kissed, which he did with pleasure. Only she drew a sharp breath.

"Are you okay, honey?" he asked, moving back to examine her lip properly.

"It's okay," she insisted. "It don't hurt. Not really. Not now I know 'bout you and me."

"There'll always be you and me, Kaylee. I promised that. Til death do we part."

"Just gets a little close, once in a while, don't it?" She shivered.

He wrapped his arms around her. "Never, my darling. I won't let it."

She snuggled against him. "Good." She sighed happily. "You'd best come with me," she added.

"Oh? Why?" He ran a hand down to her buttocks.

"Bethany's waiting for you to tell her a story."

"Oh."

She laughed at the look on his face. "And maybe we can see what this pendant looks like against bare skin afterwards."

"It'll be a short story," Simon promised.

"The shorter the better."

--

He had to tell her. Tell Freya that he'd kissed Inara. If she found out any other way, realised he'd kept it a secret, it could tear them apart. And he couldn't take that possibility.

"Honey?" he said, climbing down the ladder into their bunk, carrying Ethan carefully. The door to the nursery was open, and Freya was inside, making the bed ready for her son.

"Oh, he's asleep already," she said, turning to smile at him, reaching out for Ethan.

"Inara's been keeping him awake." He watched her lay their child in the bed, tucking the covers around him.

"Well, I think we can pass on getting him undressed, just for once. I know you like reading him a bedtime story, but I think tonight …" She smiled. "You can read him a double one tomorrow."

"I'll do that."

She looked round at him. "You okay?" His voice had sounded odd.

"Freya …"

"What is it?"

"I … I need you to sit down."

"What is it?" she repeated, concerned now.

Instead of answering he took her hand and led her out of the nursery, making her sit on the edge of their bunk. He slid the door closed and then turned to her.

"Frey …"

"Mal, you're scaring me," she said, not wanting to read his mind but wondering whether she should all the same.

"Inara's leaving."

Freya released the breath she'd been holding. "I know."

"And I just kissed her."

She looked at him, staring into his blue eyes.

He began to get uncomfortable. "Freya, did you hear what I said? I kissed Inara."

"I know."

"It didn't mean anything, and I –"

"Mal, I said I know. I felt it happen."

"You …" His mouth was open.

"I'm not happy about it. But I know what happened."

"I thought …"

"That the old green-eyed monster would be rearing its head again?"

"Something like that." He watched her carefully. "You really … I thought I'd undone all the good work we did back on Lazarus."

She looked down at her wedding and engagement rings. "If you want me to get mad, I will. Because I can. I'm incredibly angry that she kissed you, and that you kissed her back. But I know it wouldn't ever go any further. Not on your side, anyway. Inara I'm not so sure of."

"I'm sorry."

She looked up, turning the gold bands on her finger. "I love you, Mal. I know you love me. You love our son. And that you'll never jeopardise our family. But it doesn't mean I have to like it."

"It's just … you're acting so normally."

"You want me to shout? To scream at you to leave and never darken that hatch again?"

"Well, no."

"Are you going to do it again?"

"No. I just had to … to prove something."

"To who?"

"Not sure."

"Mal, if you ever kiss anyone else apart from me, or someone closely related, I will kill you and no-one will ever find your body."

"I am sorry. All I can say is that I didn't start it." Mal sat down next to her.

"But you finished it, and I suppose I should be happy about that."

He reached out and gently, very gently, took hold of her hand. "I love you, _ai ren_. More'n I ever thought I could love a person. More than life."

"I know." She leaned against him. "We fit, Mal. You and me. We make a good couple."

"Husband and wife."

"And I'm so thankful you chose me."

"Is all of this because you saw Dr Yi?"

"Some," she agreed. "But mostly it's because of what you've done for me the last few months. Saving my life, my sanity. You wouldn't have done that if you didn't love me."

"Frey, you're more to me than anything."

"Even Serenity?"

"You know, when we were looking for you, I told 'em I'd sell Serenity if needed to pay for the information, just to bring you home again. That ain't changed. Won't ever change, Frey. _Ever_."

A slow smile grew on her lips. "Ever?"

"Maybe might get stronger."

"Okay."

"Okay, you're shiny?"

"I'm shiny. But just you remember what I said about if you did it again."

"I'll remember." He leaned forward and kissed her softly. "And I won't."

"Good. Hate to have to find someone else to be Ethan's father."

"Or to make love to you."

"Oh, I'm sure I could find someone willing."

"Don't even consider it."


	10. Chapter 10

Inara made the announcement that she was buying Monty's place on Lazarus just after dinner. For a long moment there was silence, then Hank spoke.

"Ain't surprised," he said. "It's a nice place."

"Sure is," Kaylee added. "Pretty."

"You're buying it," Simon said, his voice flat.

"I can afford it. I think it would be good for me."

Kaylee looked around the table. "I think it sounds shiny."

"And of course you can all come and stay, whenever Serenity is in the area."

"Yeah, well, not sure when we'll be back," Mal said shortly.

"It's not too far out of the way from anywhere," Hank pointed out.

"Depends on work."

The others exchanged glances, but only Inara spoke. "It's something I decided a little while ago, but having seen the house, I think it's going to be ideal."

Zoe nodded. "I can understand that."

There was a short silence until Freya spoke. "Well, I'm going to check on Ethan," she said, kissing Mal on the mouth before standing up and running her hand through his hair, knowing Inara was observing every move.

He grabbed it and pressed his lips to her palm. "I'll be along in a few minutes." He watched her leave.

"And I think I need my beauty sleep," Hank said, climbing to his feet, then groaning as the aches and pains from the earlier fight made themselves very obviously known.

"_I_ think you need a massage," Zoe said, following him.

"Ooh, with that citrusy oil?"

"If you play your cards right."

"I'm really good at that. Playing cards. Strip anything, now that's really my forte."

"Last time was just luck …"

Their voices vanished as they went down into their bunk.

"I think you should make it an early night too," Simon said, lifting Bethany out of her chair. "I'll look in on Jayne for a while, make sure they ate the food I took down, but I'll try not to be too long."

Kaylee smiled, then winced as the cut in her lip pulled. "That's okay," she said. "I understand. I'll have one more cup of coffee, then I'll be down."

"You sure that won't keep you awake?"

"Not sure I want to sleep that much, after today," she said softly.

"No bad dreams, Momma," Bethany said, smiling at her. "We'll chase them away."

"You will?"

"Me and Ethan. We'll fight 'em."

"Good." She nodded. "I'll be down in a while. Tuck you in."

"'Kay, Momma."

Simon carried her out, just as she yawned hugely. "Cover your mouth, sweetie," he said.

"Sorry, Daddy."

"That's okay. Just remember to do it."

"Kay."

Inara had watched the display of family affection with a smile, but there was a tug at her heart that made her wonder, just for a moment, whether she was doing the right thing. No, it was. For some time she'd felt like an extra, something just tacked on. She knew that wasn't the case, but everyone else on board had formed a couple, and she felt as if she was missing something. If she'd got Colm, that might have been different, but as it was … She stood up. "Everyone seems to have the right idea." She looked pointedly at Mal. "I'd like to talk to you some more about the arrangements for Lazarus."

"Maybe tomorrow," Mal promised vaguely.

"That can turn into months, Mal."

"Tomorrow."

She sighed, but nodded. "Very well." Heading for the door she paused next to him. "I can't wait forever. If you make this difficult for me, I'll just leave at the next planetfall and make my own way back there." She didn't wait for him to reply, just walked elegantly out of the galley.

"Fine," Mal muttered to himself.

Kaylee stood up and lifted the coffee pot. "Cap'n?" she asked.

"Mm?" He looked up. "Oh, no thanks. I'm fine."

"I'll just have another mouthful." She poured then sat back down, this time taking the seat next to him. "Everyone seems to be good," she said, nursing her mug.

"Seems that way."

"Only I think people are just putting a brave face on things. I know I am."

He looked at her. "You feeling bad about what happened?"

"Cap'n, I ain't stupid. I know what …" She shuddered, her whole frame trembling.

"Ain't gonna let it," Mal said firmly. "I ain't never gonna let anything happen to you."

She smiled. "I know. But sometimes you ain't around to stop it."

"You feeling guilty now?"

"About going after Simon?" She shook her head. "No. There weren't no way of knowing those men were around. And even if we'd checked the posted alerts … well, I did, before dinner. There weren't nothin' about kidnappers."

"Kaylee, they were just muggers. All they wanted was your cash and any other valuables you might have had."

She put her hand on his. "Like I said, I ain't stupid. I saw that girl, and Hank ain't the only one who reads the Cortex."

Mal sighed, mentally damning that thing. "There's no way of knowing, _mei-mei_. And I ain't exactly about to go back and ask them."

"Are they gonna do it to anyone else?" Her dark eyes fixed him, almost as surely as her sister-in-law's did. He could almost believe she was reading the thoughts off the back of his brain.

He contemplated lying, then realised there was no point. Better she feel … "No, Kaylee. They ain't gonna do that to anyone else."

"Good." She nodded, then lifted her mug with a hand that shook just a little. She took a mouthful of coffee, swirling it around her teeth before swallowing. "So Inara's leaving."

"I guess."

"And you don't like it."

"Don't think I said that," Mal pointed out.

"Didn't have to. In fact, I don't think you said more'n a dozen words after she told us."

"You were counting?"

"Do I have to?"

"_Xiao mei-mei_, this is just some idea she's got in her head about wanting some independence. She'll get over it."

"And you kissing 'Nara. That's just some idea Bethany got into _her_ head?"

Mal stared. "I thought –"

"She was asleep?"

"It ain't what you think," he said quickly.

"No, I figured that. You ain't never gonna cheat on Frey. 'N' I bet you told her already."

Mal nodded. "Got that right. And amazingly got away with my skin in one piece." He paused, then lifted one eyebrow. "What … um … what else did Bethie say?"

"That you were arguing. Kinda scared her."

"I'm sorry."

"She knew you didn't mean it. 'Pparrently Inara said she loved you."

"Kaylee -"

"And that was the reason she was leavin'."

Mal sighed. "Something like that."

"And you don't want her to go."

"Guess it's plain I don't. But not because I –"

"No, I kinda figured that. But there's good things can come of this too." She leaned forward, squeezing his hand. "Cap'n, we need to have a base. Someplace we can always go back to. Like we used to with Haven –"

"Ain't gonna do that, little Kaylee."

"I was born dirtside. So were you. All of us, bar Zoe. And I don't want Bethany growin' up not knowing what it's like to have mud squelching up between her toes."

Mal gave a start. He remembered saying those exact words to Ethan when he bathed him that first time, but unless Kaylee truly was catching the _being-psychic_ thing from her sister-in-law, Freya must have … "_Mei-mei_, it ain't safe. We need to keep flyin'."

"And we will." She looked deep into his blue eyes. "But we need someplace to be once in a while."

"We do land."

"And leave soon as we can. You ain't happy 'less we're out in the black. But some of us need to see blue sky above us occasionally."

"Are you telling me what to do?"

"Ain't no tellin'. 'Nara's leaving, and nothing you or me can say'll make her stop. 'N' it's right – she needs to move on, get on with her life."

"I ain't driving her away."

"Didn't say you were. But this with her son, it's … it's made her think. And you knew it was coming, don't act like you didn't. Her leaving the Guild, going off on her own to find Colm, no matter how it turned out … you know she weren't gonna stay forever."

"But she's … damn it, it's Inara!"

"'N' that's why it'll work. She's got her heart set on that place – somewhere she can be herself, not have to pretend no more."

"What's she pretending?"

"That she don't love you."

Mal glared at her, about to contradict, but saw the truth of it in her eyes. "I know, little one. Always have." He sat back. "Just …"

Kaylee nodded, understanding. "You hoped it'd die."

"_Mei-mei_, I've got Freya. I've got a beautiful wife and a healthy son, and I couldn't wish for more, but I …"

"You still love Inara?"

"Guess I do. But I ain't _in love_ with her no more. Haven't been for a long time. That's between me and Frey now."

"S'pose it's like the way you love me and River and Zoe. 'N' Simon, Hank, Jayne –"

"Not Jayne. Nor Simon," he added hurriedly. "Ain't that way inclined."

"Notice you didn't mention Hank there," Kaylee pointed out, her eyes sparkling with wicked amusement.

"No, well, him and me … you keep that under your hat," Mal said with mock sternness.

Kaylee grinned, but got back to the matter in hand. "Cap'n, she needs to do this. And you need to let her."

Mal sighed. "Guess I could do with my shuttle back." Then he shook his head. "Still don't like it. Suppose she needs us? If something happens, and she gets into trouble –"

"Then she'll call. She ain't gonna die, Mal," Kaylee said, using his given name so rarely that he raised his eyebrows in surprise. "'N' it give us a home."

"Serenity's home."

"Then a home away from home. Where Bethany and Ethan can run riot."

"They do that anyway. Well, Bethany does. And she's gonna lead my son into bad ways, I hope you know that."

Kaylee knew he'd seen sense. "And when you have the next, Frey can give birth there."

"What about you, little Kaylee?"

"I ain't leavin'." She deliberately misunderstood.

"Don't you be pretending to me. More kids. Is it gonna happen?"

The good humour dropped away. "No." She forced a smile. "But I got Bethany. And Ethan feels like he's half mine, you being so big-brotherly 'n' all."

"I ain't no-one's big brother."

"Yes you are. Otherwise why'd you call me your _mei-mei_?"

He had no answer for that. "Well, I ain't Jayne's big brother and that's a fact."

"No," Kaylee conceded. "But if him and River do end up together you could be his pa-in-law, seeing as you treat her like a daughter."

Mal stood up. "This is getting too surreal. And I've got captainy things to do before I turn in."

"But you're gonna let Inara go?"

"Don't have a call to stop her." Mal tempered his words with a smile. "Still, I reckon maybe it'd be nice to have some place to go sometimes. Where no-one's trying to kill me."

"I'm sure Inara would oblige if you miss it that much."

"I'm sure she would." Mal smiled and stood up, heading out of the galley.

"I love my captain," Kaylee called.

"Just make sure you keep on doing it," Mal replied loudly.

--

"My client is not going to be very pleased. This is more than somewhat … annoying." The man dabbed at his top lip with his linen handkerchief, then folded it carefully and put it back in his pocket.

"I can assure you we will be looking for those responsible." The officer glanced towards his colleagues, some distance away. "At least, _I _will."

"Good." He passed over a full credit chip. "Something on account. To keep you on track."

The officer tucked it inside his uniform. "We have some leads already, including some DNA trace. Which, I have to admit, doesn't make sense. It appears to belong to a man who has been dead some three years –"

"Do you have the profile? It is possible we might be able to find out more."

Glancing about him, the officer slowly took a wafer from his pocket and passed it over. "Like I said, it doesn't make sense."

The man stowed it in his top pocket. "It doesn't have to. You're not being paid for it to make sense."

"Guess not. Still, we'll keep looking into it."

"Let me know. As I say, my client is anxious to … repay the debt."

"And your … shipment?"

The man shrugged, his elegant suit settling easily around his shoulders. "Easily replaced. Not quite so the suppliers. They did a good job, but evidently got sloppy." He dismissed them without a further thought. "But young women are readily available anywhere. So many young pretties who just never get missed …"


End file.
